the father syndrome

hmm..hehehe...okay..there r a few things i d like to clear out first on;
one is !!! i do not like kids..
y b cos they r noisy, very..!!!
they r stupid,
then the third, they have their mothers who are very protective of them
and fourthly, they just don't understand...

okay..now thats ben said..i ll get on to the crux of the story
last nite i was out with with friends..usual treat day for a b day kind of thing
i was a lil high from a peg of whiskey, so eooo, but hey i was happy..!!!
anyways
so im there with all my pals, all loving faces, happily gorging away looking lovingly at their grub...
and now i get up and move out so that i can call my folks, and all around me suddenly there r kids like satan's minion, making noise running around, and i can't hear thru the line...and im a all a lil woozy..
so,
i decide i m going to tell em' a lil somethin about manners...and i pick out one kid in particular...
one small lil puffed-up, chubby, cherubic un' just about 2 feet from the ground..and this kid is so cute it breaks my heart to bend down n tell her wats manners, she lookin at evryone like
"ya fucker thats wat it is..!!!, im playing now"

so i straightened up, deciding not to speak to the cherub, and suddenly it hits me,
nope, not the whiskey..!!
it just hit me that," What am i doing?? im getting emo over lil kids, oh my, im getting all the need to be fatherly...haw fuck..!!!
i grab my face like its being eaten by alien virus and i started quickly walking back to my comforting table, and the drink..!!
now i was feeling better outside with the air, and the lovely, candle-lit evening and some seriously pretty women around..i felt more like pheww myself...
but this thing kept coming back again...
hmmm..im someone who's a lil choky about marriage, marriage chokes me up, the lack of freedom for doing absolute madness, for impulsive madness, the weird wild ways of mine and the whole, scary burden of responsibility, i get all a bit choked up..!!
pheww..pheww
okay..so now im thinking, hey i like kids, i really love my nieces and nephew, i mean the nieces, r they cute, goddamn..!!!, they break things, and they do it with aplomb..!!
and then they come n stand in front of u with a big clueless " Holy crap..!!! I was sent here to mend this place..??!!! look.
Now that melts my heart, and that lil thing is quite aware of that as well, so she smiles knowing full well that im not going to scold her...
and so, i was thinking how my whole choke up towards a marriage and the whole kids factor is going to act along..it s scary..
i was like going to be single the rest of my life, u no having fun and going after what i wanted when i wanted, now kids r something i wanna raise, but pheww marriage..??? no ways

i was picturin all my pals with their kids n me alone, u no, scary n shit, lik they,ll be thinking, creepy, old, lonely man, freaks us out with his pointy beard and weird look..
and no kids of mine..!!!!
im pretty sure my kids wil be lil baby cherubic lil pies as well, but it s scary to picture myself that ways
anyways
this kids thing is getting a lil strong on me lately..and im worried..
i donno if they let single men adopt, but that thought alone is pretty scary,
and im also very scared that my past history with females alone will brand me as a skirt chaser willing to go alone and any extent to get what he wants, which is quite scary from a 'Parent' point of view..
I begin to find out stuff about my own self, and turns out, it's all fucked up..!!
Hmmm, we'll just have to see about that..then